I specialize in helping people with perfectionistic traits that are creating significant disruption in their personal and professional lives learn how to move from being human doings to human beings.
As a culture, we tend to reward perfectionists for their insistence on setting high standards and relentless drive to meet those standards. And perfectionists frequently are high achievers — but the price they pay for success can be chronic unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
The pressure is on to never take a vacation day, have your children in multiple activities, always keep a perfectly clean house, have a great body, and high paying/ influencing job. Just reading that creates stress!
Perfectionism has a very precarious nature that can impact an individual’s emotional and interpersonal functioning. Even when successful by objective standards, sometimes those with perfectionistic traits may struggle to recognize their success or find it possible to fully enjoy their accomplishment.
Some common symptoms of perfectionism are:
- You’ve always been eager to please.
- “I achieve, therefore I am.”
- You know it’s hurting you, but you figure it’s the price you pay for success.
- “No pain, No gain.”
- You’re a big procrastinator.
- Fearing failure, often people create self-defeating behaviors.
- You’re highly critical of others.
- We reject in others what we can’t accept in ourselves
- All-or-None thinking
- You’re a success one moment and a failure the next, based on your latest accomplishment or failure
- You have a hard time opening up to other people.
- It’s scary to be vulnerable with others due to fear of rejection or failure.
- You struggle with criticism and take things personally.
- Can often ruminate about feedback and obsess about mistakes.
Therapy can help to uncover the underlying causes of your perfectionism, learn how to clarify and regulate your thinking and emotions, look at situations in a new, less distressing way, and develop better coping mechanisms and problem-solving skills.
If you are struggling with perfectionistic traits, I invite you to contact me today to schedule an appointment.